Mother-in-law help/advice PLEASE?

Sorry if this is long. I posted a question about a month ago about my mother in law on x-mas day she kicked me out of her house, pushed me when I tried taking my daughter with me %26amp; then threatened to take my daughter away(through courts although she will never get her because she has a sexual misconduct on her record). Anyway last night she called my husband and told him that I need to forget what happened, get over it and start talking to her. I told my husband that I will not forget, how am I suppose to forget someone kicking me out of their house, pushing me and then threatening to take my child away. My husband told his mother that I am not going to talk to her %26amp; he isn't going to make me, so than she said well I better start getting to see my granddaughter every sunday or I will show up at your house at 6 everynight. I agreed to let her take her on sunday feb 4th even though it was against my better judgement. Also she threatened to take us to court again. What would you do?Mother-in-law help/advice PLEASE?
I would never let her see my child again, until she apologized and proved that she can act like an adult. What is her reasons for acting this way? Why would she kick you out of her house? I am sure there are two sides to this story, but bottom line...Your child, not hers.





If she shows up at your house, tell her to leave and if she refuses, call the police. Have her removed for trespassing. She sounds like a nutcase.





OK I just read your other question from a month ago. Based upon her criminal history, I would not let my child near her.. PERIOD. Let her take you to court, she'll just look like the nut case that she is.Mother-in-law help/advice PLEASE?
get a restraining order. Your daughter does not need to be around a menacing woman like that. She is YOUR daughter and YOU make the decisions on her well being. I'm glad your hubby stood up to her in some way by letting her know that you will not be speaking to or forgetting her behavior. What is she going to take you to court for? As long as you and your husband take proper care of your child, grandparents really have no say in anything. I strongly suggest a restraining order so that if this mad woman decided to be a bully you have grounds to have her removed. It's in your and your child's best interest to let the authorities know what's going on before she looses her mind and kidnaps your child or tried to fight with you in front of your child.





You're a grown woman with a child ... don't take BS from anyone. Good Luck.
You have every right to keep your daughter away from this obviously unstable person. If she threatens to take you to court, let her try, her record alone will stop any judge from granting her visitation rights. I would also file a restraining order, she did physically assault you.
Why in the world would you let someone who has a sexual misconduct record be alone your child? I wouldn't let her see the child alone ever! If your husband wants to let her see his daughter at a park or McDonalds or Chuck E Cheese while he is there then I would allow it, otherwise, forget it. She should not have unsupervised visits with her grandchild. She sounds unstable and your daughter needs to be protected. If you don't protect your child, who will? Your husband is right to stand up for you and not allow his mother to treat you this way. You are not required to let her see her granddaughter every Sunday or at all. This is your child and your husband should tell his mother that we will not put up with her behavior and won't allow her to be alone with his child and if this type of behavior continues then he won't allow her to see his daughter until she gets help (counseling). This is going to be hard for your husband, but if he doesn't stand up to her now, she'll be calling the shots and blackmailing you forever. If she shows up at your house, your husband will need to tell her that this isn't a good time for a visit and shut the door. Don't get sucked into a fight. Be direct and assertive. Good Luck!
You need to set some rules and boundaries. Maybe you and your husband need to stay away from your mother-in-law. I wouldn't let her take your daughter especially if you don't feel comfortable about it. I think you need to tell your mother-in-law to respect your decisions and set some rules with her and if she doesn't follow them then she doesn't have the right to take your daughter.
i would not let her see my child. my ex's mother threatened the same thing when we split up. well i stood my ground, she took me to court and lost(she had public drunk and several dui's on her record) and I haven't seen or heard from my ex MIL since then and she or her sorry @ss son still have no rights and don't see my son. good luck hun!!!!!
Tell her that you will set the rules and boundaries and if she doesn't like it and threats court, tell her you'll see her there. She has no right to say those things to you and maybe even talk to a lawyer to see what you can do that she has no say so over, like maybe ';You can see her this many times a month'; and if she says no, at least she cant say you didn't try and work something out. I hope everything works out well and I wish you all the luck in the world, because you will need it!! Good luck.
She has no right to see your child with a sexual misconduct charge on her record. Put your foot down. I don't care how ';minor'; of a charge it may have been or under what circumstances, NO ONE with any violent offense or sexual offense of ANY type would be NEAR my children.





You need to lay the law down and stick up for yourself and your child. Your child is more important than this nightmare of a MIL. If she continues harassing you, document it. If she comes over uninvited, have her removed for trespass. Then get a restraining order against this psycho.





Grandparents rights fall on the wayside when it comes to a mentally disturbed individual that has a record of any type of sex crime.





Something you are failing to see is that your MIL has a SEX CRIME on her record. She WILL NEVER get custody of ANY child if the judge has a single brain cell between his ears. STAY AWAY from her and keep your daughter away from her!
mother in laws can be a pain I have one myself who did not want me to get pregnant because she said children are hard to take care of she raised my husband on her own. In fact she wanted my husband to get sterilized and we both told her no its are choice not hers. now that I'm 36 weeks pg shes all happy and is telling us were going to be good parents. But on the other hand i can understand where she is coming from my husband and I both have a ld so it may be hard but we can learn and are ld is not a serve one. The best way to handle your mother in law is what someone else has said sent the ground rules. But my question in why did she throw you out that does not sound right nor does it sound like someone I want to leave my child with for a while. why would she want to take you to court just because she can't see her grandchild or is another reason. If its because she cant her her grandchild then that will not hold up in court and especially when she has that sexual misconduct on her record.
first i do agree with you i would not talk to her or let her see the kids. now for the legal side depending on what state you live in there are laws providing for the grandparents to have visit ation with their grandchildren so you should look up the laws for the state you live in
With this type of behavior I would take HER to court. She has no reason to act this way towards you. Unless you have done something to fear the courts finding I would have my butt down there ASAP! She shouldn't be bullying you like this. Kids learn by example. Is she the example you want your daughter to learn from?
this woman is trying to bully you do not give in to this woman's demands she is your child and you decide when she will see her not the other way around and remember this woman kicked you out of her house in front of your daughter if she comes to your house every night at 6 phone the police and have her removed if you give in her her over this she will make your life a misery. Make a record of her behavior and if she threatens the court again say OK if that's the way you want it
i know you probly dont want to hear anything negative but i had something similar happen with one of my kids...i let him go stay the weekend with his grandparents (my ex in laws) andnevergot him back..they filed for guardinship and got it now i can only see him when they say so and on their conditions..alot of it probly depends on what state you live in i dont know for sure how much state laws differ from one another but until the problem is resolved i would tell her she can come to your house and see your daughter for a little bit if you are worried that she might take her...i know when it happened to me the cops wouldnt even help because it was a civil matter and said i would have to wait for court...good luckwith your decision
Oh, he__ no! I have been in the same situation with my mother in law. You have a good husband if he isn't trying to make you get along with his mother. First of all, you carried that child for nine months and I'm sure is the care giver most of the time. Don't ever forgive someone who treated you that way because when you do she will act that way again. Especially if she thinks that she can act that way and still be apart of you and your childs life. Cut all ties and put your foot down or she will control you. Who does she think she is threatening to take YOUR child. She has no rights in court so go ahead and tell her to get lost and some really good advice, let your husband have a relationship with her but you and your child need to pretend she doen't exist. People like that are a waste of space and need to be knocked down a notch. My sons ex-grandmother hasn't seen or talked to us in 2 years and it has been great!No more threats,nothing. It would be a cold day in he__ before my baby's daddy's momma ever tried taking my child and treating me like crap,especially with a record like that and would ever see me or my child again. And thank God for caller ID, she calls and I hand the phone right to his father and when he goes and sees her, he goes alone. And no, she can't come to my house,she lost that priveledge when she disrespected me. Your child will truly be the one to pay in the end if you let her have anything to do with that whole situation.
Well, I definitely wouldn't have her around my child until she displayed some amount of sanity! She sounds like a lunatic. Sexual misconduct? On her record? Should your child really be around ANYONE with a record? Especially someone who mistreats you? Let her take you to court, who cares, she won't win anything. She can come over at 6 all she wants, doesn't mean you have to answer the door. She needs mental help. Til she gets it, if I were you, I wouldn't let her around the child.
This monster-in-law has serious violence issues. You should not let your daughter even near her untill this lady gets some help. She may have something that the Psych Industry calls ';Domestic Terrorist Syndrome';. This is a condition where a person had a disruptive childhood and tries to recreate it in their adult environment. This is often associated with being a control freak. At any rate, there is no ';forgetting about what happened';. It will be repeated.
first of all, good for your husband. most men would try to MAKE you talk to their mommy's! second, she has no legal rights in court. grandparents have no rights. maybe you could get a lawyer to tell her that. plus she would just look like an idiot with the sexual misconduct on her record. so i wouldn't worry about that. she is trying to control you. you haven't been letting you and so she is trying to find ways to manipulate and control you. i think you are being too kind letting her take your daughter without you or your husband being present. you deserve an apology, then MAYBE i would let her visit your daughter with you or your husband present. she will probably try to fill your daughters head with a bunch of lies about you. if your daughter comes back and tells you that she said things, i would not let her see her alone again. personally she would never see me again. if my hubby wanted to take our kids to see his mom, that would be fine. mother-in-laws?! what did we ever do to them! lol! good luck!
Depends on what state you live in. Should she see her grandchild...maybe. Some states don't recognize grandparents rights. You could take your child and never let her see her and it wouldn't be an issue. BUT, instead, I would tell your husband to take her. He can stay there with the child so that you know that no one is going to take her. They can stay a few hours and then leave. Set up a schedule for like every OTHER Sunday or whatever. I am glad to see that your husband is supporting your choices!! I would move as far as is humanly possible away from this person. Get a P.O. Box so she doesn't have your address when you move. As long as you are a decent parent she can't take your child. Try to stay away from this toxic person!!
Me and my mother in law went through the same thing! We only talk bc she is my husbands mother!! She threatened to take my son away!! but she has 2 cps cases that took place in her home so I know that wont happen! I let her see our son about once a month but most of the time my husband takes him over and stays with him!! My husband knows that the only reason I started being civil towards her is bc she is his mother and my kids grandmother!!
I would have my husband take her to his Mothers house when she goes. Then you dont have to worry about her welfare when she is with this person who doesnt sound too stable.
I would tell her that she needs to start behaving like a responsible adult or you will not be able to trust her with your daughter. Also she needs to apologise and respect you and your parenting or she should not be able to see the child. And if she threatens to take her again you need to let her know that you will get a restraining order against her if you have reason to worry about her taking your child. Also as long as you and your hubby are still together she can not sue you for any visitation or custody. Grandparents rights apply to grandparents when their child has gotten divorced and lost custody of their grandchild but still wants them to have a relationship with their grandparents.
You and your husband must sit down with your in-laws and have a frank talk.Let your mother-in-law know that if she wishes to continue a relationship with your family that she must follow some basic acts of respect.Let her know she is the grandparent not the parent.Remind her that it is her actions and behaviour that is responsible for her not seeing her grand daughter.Grandparents can be valuable in the raising of children, but they must respect the parents and know that they are in charge. Grandma also needs to know that by shoving you out the door that your daughter may not want a relationship with her. Uttering threats is not productive either.Grandma cannot erase the memory she left with your daughter.Hopefully you can all try live in harmony,life is too short to waste squabling.
Relax words and threats are a form of scare tactics on her part... I can tell you the court system has more important problems and her threats could wind up coming back to bite her in the azz . she isn't their legal guardians and visitation is at this time a courtesy on your part... the courts look at the best interest of the child not the grandparent.
why don't you set some rules...





you will agree to see her and let your daughter see her on the following conditions....





be strong


dont settle for anythign short of what you want and expect for your children. you are the mother - and need to be strong
I don't know a lot about the Grandparent's Right thing but I do know that it only says that they get to see them, not that you have to allow the grandparent to take the child anywhere.


Why put up with this... if your husband wants his mother to see this child let him take her over to visit. I would not allow her there without either your or his supervision.


Your responsibility is to your daughter and her well being if Grandma is a threat then limit the contact.


If she shows up uninvited ask her to leave, call the cops, charge her with trespassing or disturbing the peace or whatever. If she has struck you...get a restraining order.
That's a tough one! What kind of adult would act that way in front of her grandchild??? If your husband told her that ';he's not going to make you'; (talk to her) then it speaks a great deal about how he really feels. He is standing up for you just as he should - being your husband.


Just because you agreed to let her take your daughter on Feb 4th doesn't mean that you're bound to that decision. If you feel like she might not be good for your little girl to be alone with, then my biggest advise is to NOT let her go with grandmonster.


If she's been charged with sexual misconduct in her past, then she's always going to be on record for that.


If she threatens to take you to court, let her try. It's only going to cost her alot of money and she'll never win.


So she threatened to show up at your house each night at 6:00. Big deal. Let her!!!! Let her come over and over again and file police reports for harassment.


She pushed you on Christmas when you tried to take your little girl with you. THAT is physical assault. You could have pressed charges against her.


She sounds like a big witch that is trying to blow a bunch of smoke up your @$$. Don't allow her to frighten you with threats to take your child. Do you have any idea how hard it would be for her to do that???


What i'm worried about is the thought of her getting her on the 4th of Feb. and taking off with her.


I would only allow her to see your daughter if you and your husband are present. She sounds unstable and violent.


Don't let your little girl go with her on the 4th....i've got a bad feeling about that!!!!!


Like I said, if she follows through with her threat to show up every night, then call the cops each and every time. There will be a stack of reports on her.


She can't get your baby girl. Don't let her get to you like that.


As long as your husband is standing with you and standing up for you, things will be just fine.
She sounds like a nutbag. I'd stay away from her. If she doesn't get to see her granddaughter, it's her own fault. She should know better than to act that way. She may run off with your kid; I wouldn't allow her to see the child. Your first priority is your daughter's safety, not your crazy mother-in-law's feelings. Good for your husband for supporting you in this! If she does show up at your house at 6 like she said, just lock the door. And if she makes a scene, call the cops.
Let her take you to court. There is nothing legally that says you have to let your child see her grandparents. nothing. And if she shows up at your house every night, then that's harassment. She will have more then a sexual misconduct on her record. She sounds crazy! i wouldn't let my child anywhere near her. She is probably telling your daughter how your a bad mother or some other B.S. Your Husband needs to tell his mother about her self! pronto!
Proceed with caution. Your husband should stand his ground and tell her that she can see her grand daughter, but that you don't want to associate with her - right now. I would suggest that you keep your comments about his mother and your daughter's grandmother to a minimum. It hurts people regardless of their relationship with their family member.





Anyway, you are hurt, however, maybe it is time to heal. Although she did display anger and craziness, she could have changed. Let your guard down and maybe start the process of healing. Give her another chance, that's what forgiveness is about. We all want to be forgiven, so forgive. Just remember that in the future, she will always be the type of mother who needs boundaries.
I'd call a lawyer and ask to come in for a consultation, ask what your legal rights are and what you can do from a legal standpoint. Does this grandmother have any legal stance to keep making threats. If your mother were to call CAS or something and lie about you, then you'd have previous record at least stating that she's made these threats and her testimony (her lie) wont stand up in court. I'd also be frightened she'd take your daughter for the one night and you go to pick them up and she's taken off with her. If she's going to threaten to take her away, you can't trust she's going to do the right thing. Long story short it sounds to me like she's a little unstable and that it might be time to get a third party involved, just in case... for the safety of your daughter.
I would tell your husband that if she doesn't stop all this nonsense that you will get an anti-harassment order against her. I do not know the whole story but I would cut the ties with her. Do things on your own and stand on your own two feet that way she won't be able say or do anything. I was in a situation with another family that wasn't good for me and it took me seven years to leave. I am much better and able to heal after everything they put me through. Sometimes you really can't see clearly until after you have been gone for a while. I have been gone for 1.5 years and I can tell you that I am in shock that I was ever there in the first place. Your child deserves a better life than being surrounded by drama!