HELP ADVICE NEEDED What shall I do?

I am a muslimah living in the UK. My partner and I have been in love since we were young. We are both of equal age. we were next door neighbors and knew each other from the age of 11 and we always got on extremely well. We married at the age of 18 and now we are 30. Well my need for help is from the previous to questions which i have asked. Although they were disturbing question i had to see if you people were willing to help and it seems that you are


Well recently my husband insisted that we had group intercourse he insisted that one night it be with an extra woman and another night an extra man. And he insisted we tape it so that he can hold on to those memories. He says that he will appreciate the sacrifice that i will do for him. I love him very much and i do not wish to leave him. However he says that he will leave me if i do not fulfill his wishes . What should i do? and what would you do. I love him very very very muchHELP ADVICE NEEDED What shall I do?
Peace..





Unfortunately, ur husband is doing Haraam, and u may love him but he is disobeying Allah by taking sex at another level (an extra person). You must say No to that as making love is only about 2 people, not 3. Ustugfirulla, may God forgive him..





If he leaves u because of that then it shows how commited he is to u, maybe he feels that u arent good enough anymore? maybe he already has had sex with sum1 else?sorry to say that but it may be true.





It is haraam to tape sex. It is forbidden by every single scholar, not even 1 agrees to it, that it is forbidden to record it.





Now let me tell u why he wants to record it...





1) He wants to put u on the internet, maybe frame u or blackmail u.


2) He wants revenge on u or something ur family did so he taking it out on u.





Everything u said that ur husband wants is Haraam. U must say NO. There should be no disobedience to Allah. Who do u love more? Allah or ur husband?who do u fear more? If u commit this haraam, and die the next day what will u say to allah, when u know it is haraam? he will throw u into the hell fire, and sister i want u to go heaven.





No husband can force his wife, or test her love for him. That is wrong...If my wife said that then (to tell u the truth) leave her or do not talk to her until she comes to her senses that what she wants is haraam and will displease God, and i would also be upset, imagen sum1 took ur tape and showed it to ur family? to the whole world?...


Then u wouldnt be able to show ur face would u? So say NO. Refuse, he seems abit sexually frustrated.





If u need my advice, im always here to help..





PeaceHELP ADVICE NEEDED What shall I do?
quite frankly you must adhere to your own principles and listen to your inner self. no one, not even your beloved husband has the right to insist that you participate in something that you do not feel is right. if he truly loves you he will not put emotional or either or demands on you. stand up for yourself....as shakespeare says ';to thine own self be true';. good luck.
make the question on a more open platform religion.


only some backward looking muslims will answer here. you should get more progressive idea.


acharya rajnish was an indian guru who adviced and made ashramam for this purpose.


what a wonderful life no restriction no marriages, no father , no mother , no son, daughter, sister,brother


enjoy yourself why you bother muslims.
Please, please get out of that marriage. You sound like a loving, dignified person and no one has the right to treat you like a whore.





Please keep your self respect and get out now.





Tell your family about this disgusting man, they will help you.





You deserve better.
if you love him.


talk to him, tell him your not happy. if he doesnt understand, then hes not a very good husband, he should support you, not blackmail you!


hes out of order.





however. keep open minded.


but dont just do it because he forces you to.
you tell him that in England you have rights to say NO! you should never be blackmailed into doing anything that you are not happy with. Sorry but this is not love it is control over you! Think seriously about leaving him now!
better decide you love him more or yourself.


coz whatever i am going to do i am gonna pay for it.


i can't say someone wanted me to do that.





allah knows better.
leave him, im sorry but if he truely loves you he would understand that you did not want to do it, the fact that he wont take no for answer,means he s being selfish. leave him
Leave him sweetie..


it sounds like he doesn't love you anymore. if he did, he wouldn't want group sex, especially when he knows you don't want it.
if you truly loved each other you should be able to make a decision which you are both comfortable with, together x
well england is a free country and Just go up to him and say no have confidence and believe in your self and say no hope it help bye good luck
I鈥檓 sorry to say this, but your husband sounds like a sick pervert.
leave him before he leaves you , where is your Dignity?
I'm sorry you are going through so much stress right now.





I think that you know in your heart what you are prepared to do and not do. Ofcourse Islamically it's wrong, but it sounds like it is wrong for you on a personal level too. so its not like you will gain any pleasure from this (unlike your husband who will get dunya related pleasure)





Islamically women are given such high esteem, exercise your right to it.





you and your husband have known each other and been married for a long time. people change, and he has gone in one direction and you in another. you need to talk to him and tell him that this is something you are not prepared to do bcos you see it as wrong Islamically and it will give you no personal pleasure, instead it makes you feel bad.





If he loves you then he will respect your wishes and you can work on improving your relationship without involving others in the bedroom. if he doesnt agree then you need to make a decision.





personally i would get rid, but i know that;s easier said than done, esp as you say you dont want to relationship to end. think abt how you will feel if you are forced in to something you dont want to do, how you will feel abt yourself. anything that happens in the bedroom btwn you and your hub should be precious enough without the need to hold on to memories. why capture it when you can recreate it btwn the two of you?





One thing I can absolutely guarantee you hun, is that if you give in to this demand, it wont stop, he will ask for something else, more and more, and his argument will be 'but you agreed last time' and he will make you feel as though you have committed so much sin that you might as well carry on.





I know you love him, but how much of that love is from a sense of dependence - you've been with him only, and for so long - its scary to think what it would be like on your own. you are stronger than you think. i guess the question I would ask you is 'who do you love most - your husband or Allah?' the answer to your predicament then becomes clear. but i know that the space btwn knowing the right thing and doing the right thing is huge and hard to travel.





but keep faith and surround yourself by people that you trust and love adn ask for strength, patience and guidance. if you can, do istikhara for your marriage (not this request of your hubs, bcos we kinda know the answer to that..) but whether this is where you are meant to be right now. you sound really confused and that is the best frame of mind to do istikhara, so you are truly open to guidance.





good luck and be strong.


xx
I think you are a very loving and patient woman. I would not be in your situation , honestly. I would kick him to the curb. It does not matter if you are Jewish , or Christian or a Muslim. He should have much more respect for you no matter what. He sounds like he is going through an early midlife crisis. My ex husband did too and things just keep getting worse. They never get better to the point where even our kids notice his bad behaviour and let me know about it. I would not trust him. You are clearly too good for him if you are even considering this and are worried about it. Make some good women friends and kick him right out of your life. That's my best advice.
i agree with most people here..if he truely LOVES you he will never ask something like that...when men loves you they r jelous they never wanna share you with anybody...like even spending time with your mum they get mad...so why would he want to share you with other people...that means he has no respect for you and he doenst LOVE you anymore...pull yourself together and tell him excalty how you feel...if he leaves you...accept it and move on...have pride and dignity....be a strong woman..dont give the chance for kufars to say muslim women are oppressed and controlled...be muslim woman and be a strong woman to!
A muslimah knows her rights.


A muslimah knows her religion.


A muslimah knows that Allaah(subhannu wata'ala) comes first.


She would never be married to such a pig in the first place, if she made that mistake she would kick him out the first time he asks her to disobey her Lord.


So now you have a choice obey this idiot and have a life that you are not happy with and is not fulfilling and in the hereafter be punished for pleasing that idiot. Preserve your dignity if this is true and tell him to go find someone else.


Good luck my dear.