My friend has been bisexual since he was about 10 years old (hes 23 now) but a couple of weeks ago he 'decided' he was going to be straight because of his parents (homophobics; once he told his mum and she threw a mug at his head).
I dont think it's right he has to change just because his parents would disown him but I don't know what to say to him. I have the same problem and it's always been something we have in common...Sexuality help/advice?
u cant just go straight. its not healthy to lie about your sexuality. i had the worst reaction from my parents. im bi and even though im with a man now i am glad that they know im bi. i get to be myself whether they like it or not. in the end its his life. if he continues to pretend he will make himself miserable. even if he can carry out a relationship with a women his homosexual feelings will surface whether it be an affair or porn. he is old enough to be out on his own and even though its hard he has to be true to himself for his own emotional health. the secrecy will eat him alive. he needs to lead his own life whether that includes his parents or not, its their lose. love is suppose to be unconditional. i don't know about him but after the way i was treated by my parents i was never able to look at them the same. i was disappointed in the type of people that they were. our relationship will never be the same. they became more tolerant of it as the years. i suggest you encourage him to abandon this new lifestyle. let him know that their is nothing wrong with being himself and that you are concerned of the adverse effects this life of secrecy could entail. tell him to be strong and help support him. he just needs some self esteem.Sexuality help/advice?
. Your stating that at the age of 10 your friend was bisexual does not make much sense. Besides, if he ';decided';, as you put in quotes, recently, that he was going to be straight because of his parents makes even less sense. My advice is that he should seek professional advice and come to realize that he cannot, on a whim, ';decide'; to change his sexual orientation. He--and you, it seems--should be more honest with yourselves. If both of you are really friends and both of you have the same problem, that in itself should be very helpful...
I'm bisexual, but I just can't relate to this. I recognize my sexuality, but it's a conscious recognition of my subconscious actions, wants, and needs. I don't think I could consciously decide to turn my back on either one sex or the other. (I've really not explained this very well, for once I'm stuck for words).
In my opinion, its not right. I dont think a person can ever just decide to be straight. I doubt it works like that. But If he's 23..I wouldn't care what my family thinks. I mean, once i move out of my house and become stable I'll come out to everyone, and if my grandma or anyone else 'disowns' me, oh well.. that's just how i feel.
If you stare at your E_rection for more than a minute, you will loose it.
It really has to do with how much you are dependent upon your parents for your survival. If you are out on your own, have your own place, job, etc., then it is nobody's business what sexuality you claim. Yes, a lot (too many) of us stay closeted about our sexuality to ';protect the feelings of'; our family, friends, co-workers. Everyone should have the freedom to express their sexuality whatever way they're inclined to, as long as no one gets hurt. For one thing, I don't think my parents would particularly care to hear what my boyfriend and I did in bed last night. It's enough for her to know that I am in a serious relationship with another man. It was very important to me that she know this. I can't help what other people feel, or what their opinions may be on the matter. All I can do is try to live my life as honestly as possible, no matter who might not like it.
Unfortunately, you can not solve your friend's problem with his parents or family. All you can do right now, is to be a friend, be supportive, be there when he needs to talk. Ultimately, he (and you) will realize that your life and your love is too important to hide from those you love. To hide your true feelings is to deny yourself the right to feel as you do. No one should have that right denied or taken away.
Good luck to you and hugs and kisses, too!
Bret
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